Making Choices

You know that situation where you just seem to be all over the place? You say to yourself, "I'm going to do this, no that, no this over here." To me, this is all too familiar and I have to tell myself, "stop it!" I think if it didn't work out in five minutes then my fears tell me it was definitely the wrong decision. Isn't it interesting, that something that would be great for us, something that we would love, we give it five minutes to work out but something that makes us so miserable we will hang in there sometimes for years, forcing it to work? Just an observation. The reason we are here is to create, co-create, and experience--period.

Have no expectations when you make a choice. Enjoy the journey. There is no getting it done, you just have to enjoy the experience. No one or no experience owes you anything, a certain thing or a certain outcome. You try something, you experience it, and that's how you base your decision on your next choice. Everything is or should be based on what you love. Only do things that you love, it's as simple as that. You waste your power, deplete your energy, and lower your vibration doing things (making choices) that you don't love.

Making choices that you do love, involves your purpose, a job, a career choice, food that you eat, choosing friends, personal relationships etc. Choosing every single thing in your life. Once you get out of your own way, choose something-- anything, be happy, enjoy the experience and have no expectations. Along the way, more choices will be presented to you, new people, new opportunities, and you will have the choice of what to experience or have none of it.

You could look at something that is being presented to you and think, oh I would love that...and then not choose it. Why? Fears, beliefs and past outcomes. Just experience everything you love. Don't hold back!

An Intention of Thinking and Doing

I know I am a thinker but I didn't realize to what extreme. I am totally out of balance and now that I am aware of this, I want to bring the actual doing of things into the picture. I look back and see the things I should be doing or should have done and I must say I have come up with some very logical reasons as to why I couldn't accomplish these tasks, and of course it has been outside forces that have prevented any movement on my part.

Instead of actually mowing the lawn, I can spend a week while it gets longer and longer and harder to cut, theorizing about how it should be cut, what time of day, or maybe I should employ someone to do it. So now I have become aware of this and want to find a balance between thinking and doing.

I am currently reading the new book by Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God, and can't put it down. Yes, the book is about our relationship to food but it is so much more. I find it encompasses relationships, our day-to-day mundane lives, work, play, and how we see ourselves.

To me, at one point in the book she is talking about surrendering (not giving up, or letting someone else take control) but when you just let go and allow. It's hard to explain. She writes, "I don't know what to call this turn of events or the freshness that follows it, but I know what it feels like: it feels like relief. It feels like infinite goodness. Like a distillation of every sweet fragrance, every heart stopping beauty, every haunting melody you've ever heard. It feels like the essence of tenderness, compassion, joy, peace. Like love itself. And in the moment you feel it you recognize that you are it and that you've been here all along, waiting for your return. When you forget, which you always do, you suddenly understand that kindness to a stranger, a partner--brings you closer to this. Taking care of your body is taking care of this. That taking care of the earth is taking care of of this. And that you'd turn away from anything or anyone that asked you to leave this because this is what you've wanted, this is what you've longed for, this is what you've loved for eons. You know without knowing how you know that every step you've ever taken, every person you've ever loved, every task you've ever accomplished has been This meeting This. You returning to yourself. And that hell is nothing more than leaving this. Heaven is already here on earth."

Geneen is an amazing writer and from this I was reminded that when I have accomplished something in the past, completed that task that I thought was enormous, I felt amazing! The satisfaction and pride I felt was overwhelming and now I know that this was me returning to myself, giving expression through not only thinking but also doing. So my intention is to experience this feeling over and over again.

-Deborah Langlois

Painter's Block

Similar to that of a writer, I think I have "painter's block." Not too long ago I completed a commissioned painting and found it difficult because the subject matter was specific to the recipient and trying for my soul (See above). So I vowed not to do anymore commissioned pieces and to only create art that would feed my soul... I have done it again, I am doing a specifically themed painting that is not me. I am forcing myself to work on it, actually it should have been done and sent out. If someone wasn't expecting it, I would paint over it. The more I dread working on the painting the more blocked I feel. There is no inspiration or joy, and I am second guessing everything; my style of painting, colors, the composition, and even the size of the canvas. My confidence has gotten up and left. I am creating a black cloud over the painting and I have to stop this! Today, I am going to tidy up my studio space, and put my easel in a different spot, this will change the energy in the room and make that black cloud disappear. Then I will set out my favorite paint brushes and colors I love to use and hold an amethyst stone in my left hand (I find it opens me to creativity and great ideas). Then I will look at the painting with love and be thankful that I get to do this as a living and know that people are waiting for it, either to be inspired or moved by the colors or subject matter. It is not about us, we are a vessel for this inspiration and creativity to flow through, and by giving this finished gift to the world we are uplifting humankind.

-Deborah Langlois